Marriage can be extremely rewarding but at the same time create challenges that can be frustrating for anyone.

If not managed properly, these challenges can cause significant problems and even lead to the dissolution of what may once have been an idyllic relationship. While many married couples and those in long-term committed relationships are familiar with some of these obstacles, interracial couples deal with an additional set of problems that are often imposed on them from external circumstances.

Interracial marriage has only been legal throughout this country for just over 50 years following the U.S Supreme Court’s ruling in Mildred and Richard Loving’s landmark legal challenge that overturned Virginia’s miscegenation law and in doing so all such laws nationwide. At the time, about a third of states had laws against interracial unions, not only for whites marrying blacks but also Native Americans, Asians, Filipinos, Indians and in some states “all non-whites.”

“ Although interracial marriage has been legal since 1967, it is still not universally accepted.”

n 2015, interracial couples made up 1 in 6 of all marriages, yet many still face issues from cultural differences to overt racism and discrimination from some elements of society. While racism and discrimination is offensive, it can bring couples together as they stand together against a bias from strangers. However, cultural differences and divisive opinions from family can create strife amongst couples as they are torn between loyalty to each other and their individual families.

To deal with cultural and family issues, interracial couples need to have good communication and listen to each other’s beliefs and opinions. If approached with an open mind, blending two cultures can enrich a relationship in ways that aren’t afforded to couples from the same or similar cultures. Learning about the upbringing and customs of one’s partner can provide novel experiences and produce unique and valuable views of the world. If unfamiliar settings and activities are avoided rather than explored, isolation can become the norm for interracial couples as they become distanced from friends and family. By educating oneself on the other’s culture, surprise and potential conflict can be diffused. It is also important to challenge the false beliefs the couple and their families may hold. Good communication can help couples discuss the positives and negatives of each culture and determine which aspects should be incorporated into the interracial union. Couples also need to try and adapt to each other’s customs through compromise and communication and be patient with each other as they go through the process.

Despite the challenges, being in an interracial relationship can produce a beautiful and loving union that is actually enriched by differences not afforded to couples with similar cultural experiences.

Musings by Dr. Dave